The problem with being a “nice, polite girl” is that we never learned controlled ways to show anger. We’re polite until the absolute breaking point, and then we break everyone in our path. Right now, there’s so much anger coming from all levels of the political spectrum, and I’ve been keeping my mouth shut. A lot. And now I’m trying to figure out how to reasonably show my anger with someone, and more importantly, how to get the results I want.
No, the person I want to break isn’t political. He’s my architect.
As a fellow creative type, I’ve tried to not hover. I’ve apologized when I’ve neglected to say things I thought would be obvious. I’ve taken time to cool off before every email goes out. But he took my check and not my comments. He took my patience and abused it. And I’m realizing what a dangerous thing hidden anger can be.
The good news is this gives me insight on one very creepy person in my life. My instincts are screaming while everyone else says, “he seems so nice,” and this is why. He looks inert but he’s going to explode, and since he works in the mental health field, he’ll probably destroy others in the process. My thanks to the architect for making this so clear! But I digress, because this is about the ticking bomb of my own anger.
Someone once said, “men call women the emotional gender, but just try telling them that anger is an emotion.” So often men and women get the two sides of this coin: Men can hide everything but the anger, women can show everything but the anger. Either way, we’re not doing ourselves any favors.
The resurgence of this blog is all about needing to break the silence before it does irreversible damage. I’m writing this because I have no idea of what to say to this guy if I want to save the situation rather than destroy him. If I sever the contract, that likely sets us back six months, maybe more.
I hate arguing with people, I really do. But I think the only starting place is to draw the line in the sand and show them how perilously close they are.
Pray for me, a sinner.