Friday, May 10 2013 @ 10:10 am PDT
Contributed by: WatchCat
When I go quiet it's usually for one of three reasons. 1) I'm so busy that I barely get to look at my email, let alone write a blog post. 2) I'm learning life lessons faster than I can write about them. 3) There's stuff going on that's not for public discussion.
These past few weeks, it's been "all of the above."
Odd as it sounds, I'm particularly grateful for my car. I've been spending a lot of time just driving, often with no particular destination, and great gas mileage, horsepower and sport suspension make it much more enjoyable. In my quest to extend drive time, I've done a lot of "memory lane" as I've visited regions where I spent childhood days. It's been bittersweet, particularly because for the first time in many, many years, I now believe that my future is here in Oregon.
Yes, that's right. We're 99.9% sure that our plans to relocate to the East Coast have fallen flat. I won't go into all the details except to say that the process was worse than the conclusion. I feel like I should be more upset about this disruption to nearly 10 years of planning. So many sacrifices for something that didn't happen. But I'm okay. The journey was important in itself. There are some regrets but beyond that, I'm grateful. I'm grateful because we would have missed some amazing moments if we hadn't been traveling in this direction. We're coming at "Plan B" from a very different place now.
Dreams change. I'm learning that that's okay. More than that, they have a way of coming full circle. Twenty years from now may be a very different story. Experience has a way of not being wasted.
Other news...BrotherCat just got himself quite the challenge coin. He won't be buying the drinks too often. I'm proud, of course. A little annoyed, too, just because he has so obviously found his niche when I'm still fighting for mine. Aforementioned peace with "Plan B" isn't without some sighing. But Hooyah BrotherCat!
I have an idea about what I want to pursue in the next few years, but the training is harder to attain than I realized. There's a specific class I want to teach, but I have yet to find local instructor training. Thus the problems moves from "find a babysitter" to several nights away, and that's if the West Coast location offers the class again soon. It appears I'm not eligible for the online training, so I'm going to have to keep watching the schedule for an opportunity when I could actually travel.
Pascha... we Orthodox just celebrated our Easter this past weekend. I missed a lot of it (but huge thanks to those who made the bit I got possible!) and so while it was still a wonderful celebration, I've been feeling very much like an exile. It might be hard to understand if you only attend a Friday and Sunday service for Easter...we have 2 on Thursday, 2 on Friday, 2 on Saturday (crossing into Sunday) and then another Sunday afternoon. It's a lifeline in relationship with God and relationship with others. Missing so much of it this year feels a bit like hiking in high altitude where you just know that something vital is missing. That said, the internal battles I fought last weekend have made me stronger. And I've had several people promise to make next year different.
I owe emails to a lot of you as well, so I'll close this for now. Stay strong...if I've learned anything these past few weeks it's that we're stronger than we realize. I'll leave you with the words of my recent fortune cookie:
"If at first you succeed, try something harder."