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Monday, October 15 2018 @ 10:17 am PDT


The PTSD DiariesThe phrase "keep it real" has been overused into meaninglessness, but I'm not sure of how else to describe these past few days. Some things have almost been too good. I'm afraid of having it this good, because I can't imagine it lasting.

Amongst other events, I got to see a friend who was just back from Afghanistan. Words didn't cut it; I just grabbed her in the tightest hug you could imagine. I don't remember anything I said other than my explanation of how I had to leave immediately, but I'll never forget that moment. "Good to have her home" doesn't do it justice. It's easier to face life with courage now that she's in town.

Then there have been wonderful words of affirmation from family, golden moments with my amazing son, tender and painful interactions with friends. God whispers and I'm privileged to overhear.

Meanwhile it seems like the world has run hopelessly amok. It's a hazard of our instant news, but I'm feeling the cumulative effect of exposure to worldwide tragedy and stupidity. Anyone else feel like things are going off the deep end?

How do we balance blessings and abominations?

We can numb ourselves and try to pretend that none of it matters. Or we can accept that life hurts and thereby experience the wonder along with the pain.

I dare you to feel it all.


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