Contributed by: WatchCat
Well, I made it through the anniversary. I'm hoping I didn't bite too many heads off; it was a tough day to give anyone grace. (Apologies if you were on the other end of that!) But how do you explain to people that you were driving distance from the attacks, or, most poignantly, that if you had just looked up to the sky at a particular moment you might have seen Flight 93? I've visited Ground Zero, visited the Pentagon memorial, but I haven't made it to Shanksville yet. I was basically on the Ohio/PA border...eight minutes of government/passenger indecision may have saved my life. How do you come to grips with that? How can you ever be confident that you are making full use of that gift of life?
I still struggle to piece together my personal timeline in that first hour. I know there was a delay in getting the first news. I remember that the first report made me think that it was just a small plane that had hit. I couldn't access the news at that time, but a little while later someone came in with the news about the second tower and the Pentagon. And I believe that when I got to a TV, the first tower had fallen and I saw the second tower go down "live." Then we heard that a plane had gone down in Pennsylvania and many more were still unaccounted for. That was when I realized that no one knew whether we'd see Wednesday morning.
I've been given ten more years. I hate that number because I don't feel I've done enough with it. Yes, I've done some good work, but as I flash back to that day I don't know what would ever feel like enough. Maybe it's good that we can't identify the finish line; it keeps us moving. But after facing the anniversary, I think I'm just glad to have my sanity intact.